Funny Retirement Quotes

The best collection of funny retirement quotes that you can use to celebrate a retirement.
  • The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
    - Abe Lemons
  • Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
    - Gene Perret
  • There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
    - Robert Half
  • Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.
    - Gene Perret
  • I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps.
    - Merri Brownworth
  • When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
    - Chi Chi Rodriguez
  • In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
    - Mason Cooley
  • Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
    - Gene Perret
  • A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
    - Ella Harris
  • I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
    - Gene Perret
  • Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
    First tired of working
    Then tired of not
    - Richard Armour
  • When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
    - Gene Perret

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