Funny Retirement Quotes

• The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
  - Abe Lemons
• Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.
  - Gene Perret
• There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
  - Robert Half
• Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever.
  - Gene Perret
• I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps.
  - Merri Brownworth
• When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
  - Chi Chi Rodriguez
• In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
  - Mason Cooley
• Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
  - Gene Perret
• A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
  - Ella Harris
• I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.
  - Gene Perret
• Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
  First tired of working
  Then tired of not
  - Richard Armour
• When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
  - Gene Perret