Funny Retirement Messages

• Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends.
• The money is no better in retirement, but the hours are.
• He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
• Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does.
• One of the problems with retirement is that it gives you more time to read about all the problems of retirement.
• Don't worry about having enough money after retirement. You only need a lot of money if you plan on living a long time.
• Lucky you, no more Mondays for you.
• Retirement
  No job
  No stress
  No pay
• Think about the millions you have earned over the years for your company in your career; then ask yourself why you weren't able to retire sooner.
• The best time to begin thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.
• Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
• Congratulations on being tired and retired.
• Congratulations on extending your weekend by 5 days.
• Congratulations on your retirement. Now you have more time to work on everything that you've been putting off for so long.


• Congratulations, you were tired so you retired.
• Congratulations! Now you'll have more time to put off all the things you've been putting off.